Musa's bedtime routine

Musa at about 5 months...already reading!

In raising Musa, I rely a lot on reading books on parenting. My so-called "bible" is this amazing and comforting (yes, comforting) book by Penelope Leach who gives excellent advice on parenting and opens up our eyes towards childhood from the child's perspective. But more on that later.

A lot of parenting books encourage parents to set up a bedtime routine to settle in the children at night. Children need routine in their lives so that they will feel comforted and secure. A regular activity that happens at a regular time acts as a guide for what's coming up next, and kind of signals to the child what to expect next.

I like the idea of having a bedtime routine because I am able to put Musa to bed by 9:30pm and spend some quality time with my family at night before it's my turn to go to bed! If I don't do this, then he'll get tired and cranky, or he'll run around the house, laughing like a mad person!

So our bedtime routine usually goes like this:

We finish dinner by 8pm, after which Musa goes around to say "goodnight" to everyone. We go upstairs to make our bed -- Musa will help to take his pillows. He will brush his teeth and if he allows me, I will inspect and do the final brushing. We have a glass of water, then he would select between 3 and 5 of his favourite bedtime books to read that night. Depending on how tired I was, I would either make a whole drama out of all the stories, or just read word for word whatever's in the text!

After each book is read, I'll announce loudly, "Four more books to go, Musa!" or "Okay, this is the last one, after this we sleep okay..." I do this to prepare him for the inevitable (Kids hate meal times, bath times and sleeping!)

When the last book is read, I'll say (firmly, in my no-nonsense voice), "Now it's time to sleep...lights out!" Of course, he's not sleepy yet, but most times, he won't protest. What happens next, you ask?

Well, I'll turn off the lights, except our night light. We lie down next to each other and I'll close my eyes to pretend to sleep. He'll be tossing and turning, playing with his fingers, inspecting his buttons, etc. But I just lie quite still and maybe pat or stroke him a little bit. Once in a while, I'll just remind him to close his eyes and sleep.

One thing about Musa is that he doesn't have any attachments to his play things. He doesn't have a favourite blanket or toy that he wants to sleep with. It's so "not cute" but what to do, my boy is like that.

Sometimes, we'll have light conversations, or in cases when he's really not ready to sleep, he'll ask me to tell him a story. That's when I have to be imaginative and think up some bedtime story for him -- usually he asks for the "Abang Adam" story about a boy who was having too much fun playing football that he refused to go to bed!

But mostly, we lie down quietly together, and very soon, he (or I) would fall asleep!

The whole process takes about an hour to an hour and a half. Yes, it's quite a long time, but I get to spend quality time with him, make him feel calmer for his bedtime. After that, the night is mine to do as I please! Usually, after putting Musa to bed, I would sit in the garden with Zainal and just talk, drink coffee, cuddle.